Home is where the Heart is

That's how I'm feeling today. I have no idea why I felt that way. I just felt a bit abandoned and want to throw tantrum. Maybe it was a wrong idea to be there in the first place. I was angry with myself. Why am I putting myself through this? I was asking myself, why was I there in the first place? But I can't find an answer to it because I just want to be there.

I hope you will ask if I was bored. I hope you will ask if I needed anything. Although your brother did, I wish it was you who asked me. I didn't need you to be there all the time. I just want you to feel my presence, occasionally checking on me. I hope that you realised it earlier, not when I said I want to leave.

Sorry. I made you wait even longer before. I know I was wrong. It was for official matters. I just want to vent my frustration. Please ignore me.

Hungry now. Today's lab was so much longer than expected. I thought we could finish everything by 4pm but we ended up going back at 6.30pm. No more nice food in the canteen :(

We did electrophoresis today. It's the first time I'm casting a 1mm gel. So thin!!! After a few touch and transferring it breaks. And it's quite a long process just to get 4 mini pieces of gel. Haha..lots of waiting time in between to chat with our TA.

Finance Quiz 2 is over. My summaries didn't work very well this time. I think I missed out too many things. Have to revise it before Quiz 3.

We might be going to Science Centre this weekend! There's exhibit on Body World. Sounds quite interesting for a life science student. Haha..but I think I will end up going there to play more than learn:)

Specially for my Dear! Be Strong!

PASSED!!!

Module Info:
Date: 24th September 2009
Time: 10.50am
Venue: East Coast Park
Equipment: Hot Red Ferrari!

Despite a rainy Thursday morning, Fui San decided to complete Module 1: Introduction to Cycling with the help of Bo Chao (Dear). They were lucky enough that the rain stopped when they arrive at the training ground.

The test 'materials'!
Test in progress

I went back to lab today to finish the unfinished:P I totally overestimate myself. I thought I would be able to complete everything by 12pm but I was not even halfway done. So in the end, I stayed till 4pm (NOW!)

Today's lab was rather messy. I forgotten all the protocol so had to read my logbook again. Luckily I still manage to figure out what I need to do :P

As a result, I didn't manage to join the rest for the belated birthday celebration. Sorry!

I'm still contemplating whether to go lab tomorrow. Schedule is rather tight. Still have a lot more to study for mid-terms. Plus, I want to go out and enjoy one of these days!

Tears falling down my cheek,
What's happening to me?
I used to be so strong,
But lately I feel so weak.
All the stress brings me down,
It gives me no choice,
I can't speak my mind,
I just can't find my voice.
The smile I used to have,
It's hid behind,
The other part of me,
The person I pretend to be,
So you don't see my tears,
I fight all my fears,
I can't show emotion,
So I store it all inside,
But it builds up,
I breakdown,
I need to put the stress off to the side,
So that I will feel better inside.

Very upset over my continuous assessment. I hope I had done better or rather put more effort into it. I'm starting to have phobia of studying. Every time when I open my book I'm scared of what I need to know. There seems to be endless amount of things I have to read and understand and apply. Tutorials are also piling up. I've got to finish them within this week. The week that I dread the most is finally here - recess week. I don't enjoy recess week because everyone will think that we are super free and give us lots of work to do which in fact, can be 2-3 times more than usual.

I've got to stop giving myself excuses and work extra hard this semester. No excuse for under performing. This is what I decide to do and I have to face the consequences. No matter how many people sympathize with you, how people encourage you, at the end of the day, you are the one that's going to sit for the exam, you are the one that's going to accept the results. So work hard and stop wasting time.

I've got a new mouse! Happy! Happy!

I will be having 2 more quizzes this week. Not sure if I'm lucky or not, both quizzes will be full MCQs. Haha..that also mean that I need to know all the small small details in order not to be tricked by the questions. Stress stress...faster go study!

Once upon a midnight dreary as I pondered weak and weary
Over many a quaint and curious volume of accounting lore,
Seeking gimmicks (without scruple) to squeeze through
some new tax loophole,
Suddenly I heard a knock upon my door,
Only this, and nothing more.

Then I felt a queasy tingling and I heard the cash a-jingling
As a fearsome banker entered whom I'd often seen before.
His face was money-green and in his eyes there could be seen
Dollar-signs that seemed to glitter as he reckoned up the score.
"Cash flow," the banker said, and nothing more.

I had always thought it fine to show a jet black bottom line.
But the banker sounded a resounding, "No.
Your receivables are high, mounting upward toward the sky;
Write-offs loom. What matters is cash flow."
He repeated, "Watch cash flow."

The I tried to tell the story of our lovely inventory
Which, though large, is full of most delightful stuff.
But the banker saw its growth, and with a mighty oath
He waved his arms and shouted, "Stop! Enough!
Pay the interest, and don't give me any guff!"

Next I looked for non cash items which could add ad infinitum
To replace the ever-outward flow of cash,
But to keep my statement black I'd held depreciation back,
And my banker said that I'd done something rash.
He quivered, and his teeth began to gnash.

When I asked him for a loan, he responded, with a groan,
That the interest rate would be just prime plus eight,
And to guarantee my purity he'd insist on some security-
All my assets plus the scalp upon my pate.
Only this, a standard rate.

Though my bottom line is black, I am flat upon my back,
My cash flows out and customers pay slow.
The growth of my receivables is almost unbelievable:
The result is certain-unremitting woe!
And I hear the banker utter an ominous low mutter,
"Watch cash flow."

We'll be having our first CA1 for the year :S Not very exciting about it. I'm only halfway through my revision. There's so much to read within a short period of time. We have already completed our syllabus by now so everything is going to be tested for this test. That's bad! Because I don't think I will have enough time to finish studying.

Last week was our Accounting presentation. Everything went well and I like my group. They are so nice to hang out with. Hehe..that makes our tutorial lesson so much more interesting. We went to McDonalds for ice-cream after our presentation. Our tutor will always end the lesson one hour before the time so that leaves us with a very long break before our next lesson. Maybe we should start asking more question :P

I have been only learning about introduction during Bioinformatics lectures so far. As Jin Rong mentioned, no wonder the module is called Introduction to Bioinformatics. Haha..hopefully the next lecturer will be better. We are most of the time late for the lecture and we just sat down for half an hour, the lecture is over! Hope we will get clearer explanations and the lecturer don't talk so fast. Blek..he sounds like he running out of breathe every lecture.

This semester I've been late many many times for many many lessons. I don't like the 8am lesson especially when the tutor upload the lecture notes super late and have to rush to print them before going for lesson. I'm also late for my finance tutorial! That's because our Stats tutor don't end 15 minutes earlier for us to travel. I was late for 20 minutes the first time and 15 minutes last week. Not bad! I've got improvement. Blek..I think that's because I didn't need to wait for bus:S It's always so rush! I wish I can change to another tutorial slot. But it's too late. We've already had 2 weeks of lesson plus I think my tutor is quite good. Anyway, if I don't have practical on Thursday, I can choose to go for her later slot. One hour later so that I won't miss so much every lesson:P

I better study hard!

Yea! I have completed one year of university studies and the new semester had begun a week ago. I have a very packed schedule this semester. I'm still trying to cope with 7 modules (28MC). I shall try it for another week to see if I can do it, if not I will need to drop one of it. The first few weeks of school generally a bit messy especially for me:S Still trying to get back to the studying mood after such a long break, juggling between CCAs and lessons, bidding for modules, etc. I wasn't very lucky in bidding this time around but my appeal was approved. That's how I ended up with so many modules.

I look forward to a busy and enjoyable time this year :)

My internship is officially over! Yay...We had lunch together at Earle Swensen's. Throughout these 3 months, I have really learned a lot of new things. It's truly an enjoyable experience although there are days where I just sit in the lab and not doing anything. But...that's not the end, I will still go back during the semester to continue on my project. Hopefully I can complete the project as soon as possible:)

With A/Prof Laszlo Orban, our supervisor at the lab
Temasek Life Sciences Laboratory

This is the car the family owns. Looks so cute!!!
Tiger! I haven't seen the bottle of thing he holding before.
'Haw' the tiger! It's located at most of the entrances

'Par' the leopard. It's one pair:P

Many many more photos that we took. No time to upload all:P hehe..they are in facebook:) After almost 4 hours visit, we went to VivoCity to have our dinner at Terra Cafe:P Just opposite Swensen's.

Check out some of our Publicity efforts. Well done everyone! More to come...

So many things had happened recently to the extent that I'm not sure whether what I'm going through is worth it. I could have just gone home during this holidays, not doing my internship, not becoming a resident assistant and not having to help some people to be their messenger.

I don't really mind helping people as long as it is within my means but can't they be more polite when asking for help. It's you that want my help yet you are asking me as though I'm the one that wants your help. I don't like being 'shouted' (I can't think of a suitable word, maybe it's just the tone that you are using) at especially you are asking for help. I have no obligation to do what you asked me to. It's not even my job to do it.

Someone came back to bug me again asking for some ridiculous 'help', but he will never be able to do that again. Thank you for helping me to get rid of him. I'm guilty for not telling when it first occurred. I was thinking that it would not have such a great impact. But now I realise how serious the problem can be after putting some thought into it. I'm really really sorry about it. I might need some time to get over with it.

I'm also missing home. I haven't gone back for more than half a year, the last time being Chinese New Year which I was back for just 2-3 days and about 2 weeks in December. And I foresee myself not being able to go back for holidays so soon. Being a resident assistant means that we are required to be in campus on certain days and remain contactable and we are only entitled to 10 days of leave per semester. I will need to use about 7 days for my camp in December and will that mean that I will only have 3 days left to go home??? Mummy said it's okay since she can come and visit me whenever she thinks it's convenient. But I think the feeling will not quite be the same? Dunno :S Maybe I will feel much better when the term starts. I'm just too free these few days.

I'm also starting to get bored with my work. It's been less than 3 months and I'm already bored of it. I wonder how am I going to survive in the future. I guess what my friend said is true. Why do we need to work so hard when at the end of the day, we will not have anything? What's the purpose of life then? I have yet to find out :S I'm looking forward to some 'real' holiday. I'm tired of having to wake up so early in the morning, going to the lab and not having anything to do. If this is really what a researcher does, I really have to reconsider.

And I totally forgotten about our welcome fest event yesterday. Really sorry to the committee. I will do better next time. As for the meeting, I really didn't mean to forget about it. It totally slipped my mind.

I know in the past few weeks I've hurt someone really badly and not knowing how to make up for it. Even need the person to tell me what to do. Really disappointed in myself.

I'm a failure.

I'm trying to finish 2 days work in one day and now I ended up having to work over time :S Haha..but nevermind la..I look forward to a slack day tomorrow considering that I won't have much to do (hopefully). I'm currently doing 2 experiments at the same time. There are very similar to the extent that I got them mixed up sometimes.

I'm sorry for all the trouble and misunderstanding. Hope to get over them soon.

Our whole lab went for dinner together at Fusionopolis as a farewell for the Honours Students. It's the first time that we are all having a meal together..hehe..we don't usually eat lunch with our prof.

I ordered a cheese baked rice with creamy mango as the sauce and sausage, salmon and chicken as the fillings. Oh, we had free creamy corn soup too..the person brought it to us and told us it's on the house. Haha..so nice. We also have Ice Lemon Tea and Chocolate Chip Mint Ice Cream as dessert for taking the Student's Meal. So it's quite worth it considering that we were super full that we are lazy to walk after eating. Haha..my mentor's recommendation not bad :)

After eating, we decided to take group photos. Took one at the front of the escalator. They have quite a nice roof-like structure. And we also took another one as we are coming down from the escalator. I think that one was quite cool. Everyone was lining up to go down the escalator. The effect nice.

It was really a fun day-out together. And we saw an injured pigeon on the way back. Tried to help it but it was quite terrified. In the end, it flew across the road.

Hmm...but I did something quite silly and I regret doing. Luckily I'm forgiven (I think) :)