Home is where the Heart is

There are times in everyone life when we have to compromise, so I have no alternative but to forgo some pleasure for the time being. I can enjoy as much as I want after this. I hope I have not lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. Is this all 'too much' and I am getting nowhere? I know I have to continue to stand my ground and pursue my objectives with a fierce intensity. This is just the beginning. I don't want my 13 years of education to be totally wasted. I must make the best out of it. I know the reason I'm here and what I want to achieve here. Am I subjected to stress and pressure? Yes and I dearly like to escape but I can't. I cannot run away from problems. I must learn how to face them. I have to grow up, have to be independent.

Yippee..after tomorrow my exams are over..haha..can't wait for it although it's like another 24 hours from now. I tried to understand what I have been studying for marketing in the past few months. I realise I have wasted a lot of time. How come I seem not to know a single thing when I am revising? Everything seems new to me. Haa..and that means I took very long time to finish one chapter. And to make the matter worse, I kept dozing off or start day-dreaming about what I'll be doing in the next week. I wish I'm enjoying myself now and not trying to 'eat' the whole marketing textbook. And I wanted to go watch Fireworks at VivoCity yesterday. Regret not going.

But it's okay, look forward to something more exciting. After tomorrow's paper, I'll be meeting Xingying at Orchard then make our way to RELC. I haven't been there before so she'll be bringing me. Hehe..I wonder how is it like. I guess it's going to be super fun! I'm super excited about my holiday plans.

We'll be going for our very first outing on the 2nd Nov. (Not exactly the first for me, but the first that everyone of us are going together!) Most probably will be going to VivoCity coz it's nearer to my place! Haha..got direct bus there. You know, I'm super lazy when it comes to travelling so to avoid me being late, better get a place closer to PGP. But in the evening, I'll still need to travel all the way to Pasir Ris for TPJC Chess Club Chalet at Aloha Loyang. Haa..I think I will just sleep throughout the entire journey. Hmm and when will I pack my stuff? Haha..got to do it before the 3rd so just have to find time. Maybe at night.

Hmm..and something I don't really look forward to this holidays is CCA Meeting!! Lazy to go back to school but anyway I'm in school all the time!! Ha-ha..Will be meeting with OSA rep. also regarding our video production. Haha..I guess this will be fun. Looking forward for the video.

And finally, I'll end my holidays in Singapore with camp from 7th till 13th December 2008. Yippee..I really like to go for camp. Get to meet a lot of people and have lots of fun. The activities lined up are really exciting (except for swimming duck??!! during OBS). And I'll be going back to Malaysia on the 13th around 6.15pm after the camp. So looking forward to meeting you all.

Oh oh and to my dear classes. Yes I miss you all too. Haha..hope all of you are doing well and enjoying your holidays. Work hard!

Thank you for all the joy and fun you brought to me. Although sometimes you all are really mischievous, you always make me want to laugh and can't bear to scold you all(so cheeky). Oh yes, I can't include my photo coz my maths tells me that 7 x 3 makes 21..haha..and not 22 =P Yea and I had a hard time trying to fit in until I gave up. It's okay, I'm happy to see all 21 of you united as one. Though some of you may be in different classes, I wish you all the best. Continue to be cheerful but take your work seriously too. Can't afford to play too much. Take care.

So scared, so nervous. Tomorrow's like the only paper left that I have a bit of hope to score better. Really not much expectations for marketing on Monday since I already did so badly for the assignments. Got overall B-. So sad so sad. How am I going to maintain my CAP for my scholarship? Haih..I also don't know. Just hope for the best.

Have not been doing much since this morning. Got a bit bored reading Biochem and started to think about my Chemistry paper. Haih..makes me fell like I'm so stupid. Why can't I think of the answers when I was doing? What's the point of regretting now? Okie I think this post is going to be filled with my complains. Haha..

Was up quite early this morning. Couldn't sleep well last night. And I'm too lazy to make my breakfast so just have soya bean and biscuits. Tried to study one chapter of Biochem. Memorise the 20 amino acids. Hopefully I still can remember them. Then went to lunch with Michelle at 1pm. Haha..we were eating slowly. Not good to eat so fast.=P Came back around 2pm and continue studying Biochem. Finish enzyme one and I fell asleep!!! Haiyoh I'm like sleeping every now and then. Cannot study with my blanket already.

Woke up around 4.30pm and start to surf the net and then continue studying. 5.30pm. TV time. Watched 'Let it Shine' on Channel 8. I think that show quite nice. It's about school and a relief teacher. Haha..it somehow reminds me of my internship and relief teaching at Ngee Ann and TPJC. So fun!^_^

6.30pm. Continue watching tv. This time Channel 5, 'The Price is Right'. Haih..I should be studying lor.. Watch so much tv. I want to watch the 8pm show too. The premier of 'Don't forget the lyrics'. 9pm - 'The Little Nyonya' and 10pm - 'Forensic Heroes'. Haha..how I wish I can just stay at home the whole day and watch tv watch tv and watch tv. So many nice shows la. Haih..but no I have to study for Biochem. Must do well for it and cannot be careless again.

Wednesday - 26th November 2008
Don't want to blog much about it. But there's one weird incident. Haha..I was walking to the canteen for dinner then someone called me and ask me if I want to rent a house. This was how it goes:
Caller: Hello, is this Ms Fui San?
Me: Yup.
Caller: Oh, I want to ask if you want to rent the house you rented?
Me: Err, I don't have a house and I don't rent a house.
Caller: Hmm, you must be kidding. I found your details on an ad.
Me: I really don't have a house and where did you get my details from?
Caller: (Ignore my question) Are you currently in university?
Me: Yes.
Caller: Okie. nevermind (Hang up)
Before that, there was another call asking me if I am currently studying or working. And once I answered, the person hung up. Haa..really wonder where they get all the phone numbers from. There was also another 2 calls when I was eating. Haa..didn't answer them.

Anyway, my friends also called me and I rejected their call after that. Haa..I felt so bad. Coz I didn't recognise the number or rather I do but a bit lazy to answer. So I called them back after that. And we chat like 1 hour. Haa..I was suppose to watch TV but ended up talking. Haha..Anyway I think there isn't much difference coz what I'm actually suppose to be doing is study not watch TV!!!

Yup yup so I'm like wasting a lot of time. Ultimately, me, myself and I are to be blame for the poor performance in exams. I seriously think I did very badly. Never have I got this feeling. Never in my primary school. Never in my secondary school. And never in JC. I seriously hope that everything will turn out alright. What I can do now is focus on the remaining two subjects and make the best out of it. T_T

Can't wait for holidays ^-^

• Can you cry under water?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
• Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
• Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON television?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

At a Glance
• Does not like too many work demands, prefers to work at own pace.
• Empathetic, understanding, helpful and supportive.
• Quiet and reserved, prefers own company.
• Faithful, trustworthy and devoted in long-term relationships.
• Sees people as nice and friendly, not comfortable to wheel and deal.
• Likes intellectual discussions, likes to explore ideas.
• Less expressive verbally.
• Needs clear and thorough instructions, slow to act when uncertain.

While at Work
Putting in a lot of effort to meet the demands of work is not Fuisan's preference. She does not like to rush around doing things and may feel demotivated if work constantly encroaches on her personal life. Although she does not like excessive work demands, Fuisan may still be prepared to put in extra effort if it is on a short term basis.

Fuisan is relatively dependable to deliver results on time. She may sometimes be late in meeting deadlines.

Fuisan generally will persist with work until it is completed but may at times not complete her tasks.

Fuisan is able to produce work that is moderately high in quality but she may at times be careless.

Fuisan is generally objective but may at times be emotional.

Fuisan is sympathetic and considerate towards others. She is also likely to be tolerant, understanding and forgiving. Fuisan lends support and offers help readily. She often lends a listening ear to others and is concerned about their welfare. She is also charitable.

Being a shy, quiet and reserved person, Fuisan prefers her own company and feels awkward when meeting people for the first time. In social gatherings, she tends to stay in the background.

Fuisan is the sort of person who forms long term bonds and attachments. She is faithful, trustworthy, and devoted in such relationships. She tends to be trusting, dedicated and protective towards those she loves. Patriotism and sense of duty is a significant aspect of her character. Fuisan is moderately serious about her responsibilities and selectively takes ownership of her work.

Fuisan is moderately concerned with prestige, rank and reputation.

Fuisan sees people as friendly, reliable and honest. She is trusting and believes what people say. She tends to be unsuspecting of people's behaviour and motives. She is uncomfortable when she has to wheel and deal.

Fuisan's leadership qualities are moderate and she is sometimes able to get the support of people.

Intellectually inquisitive and extremely interested in knowledge acquisition, Fuisan enjoys discussing hypothetical or theoretical issues. She is conceptual and likes to explore abstract ideas. Fuisan is a thinker, creative and inventive of ideas. She enjoys reading and is happiest sourcing for new ideas and information.

Fuisan puts in effort to plan ahead some of the times. She may at times not be as detailed in her planning.

Fuisan is not an expressive person and may have difficulty expressing her ideas, thoughts or plans. Her language ability may not be strong and she could be described as a person of few words.

Being one who needs clear and thorough instructions before she can proceed on action, Fuisan resists when conditions are uncertain. She does not adapt easily to changes. Before she embarks on a new project, expect Fuisan to find out more and probe deeply.

I was super bored and my friend asked me to try this (click here)..Haha..she tried it too. It's short and easy:P

And this is what I got...

You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don't like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being 'left out'. What you really need is perhaps some 'tender loving care'.

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

Rejection is what you fear the most and it is this fear that makes you unapproachable. You are looking for acknowledgement and above all looking for people who can appreciate you for who and what you are.

You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has trod before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.

At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich - to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let the rest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can't do just that - you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life!

From every direction there appear to be unwarranted restrictions on your freedom of action and this is producing considerable stress. You're really looking for independence and freedom from any restriction and therefore avoiding any obligations or anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressures and you would like nothing better than to escape from them but you tend to lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this. Whichever way you turn you are being frustrated. You need to be free to do your 'thing' in your own way.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are completely worn out and you are not in the mood for any further demands on your resources. The situation - such as it is - has rendered you quite helpless, unable to continue the mental battle that you have been pursuing for some considerable time. Enough is enough. All you would like to do now would be to have some time for yourself, to find a peaceful situation where you can recuperate in your own time.

Haha..don't know how true it is. But I think some parts do describe me. What do you think? Okie, enough of playing. Let's get back to studying:(

Don't feel the work you are doing is pain, because there will be always a reason for that pain or work.
So face the pain, for the pain you face, there will definitely happiness ahead.

I did a lot of things today! Super happy but whenever I think of the amount of things I still have to study..haih..felt that I have wasted a lot of time. Woke up early in the morning then cooked my porridge, fried chicken and vegetable. Hmm..quite a heavy breakfast but it was nice. Haha..finish eating about 10+am. Then did my laundry and study a bit of chemistry. Finished 2 chapters. Still got 8 more chapters to go. At the rate I'm going, don't think I'll be able to finish studying for all the modules before exam. Have to work harder.

Pack my lunch at about 1.30pm. Ate lunch while watching Yakitate Japan. Was watching while eating my breakfast too. Haha..and I watched all the episodes. Then played a bit of computer game. Hmm..I know that's something I'm not suppose to be doing at this point of time but I just played=S That's why a lot of time wasted. Discuss the DNA contest thing with Bryan and finally we submitted the project. It's quite a waste of time too as it will not be graded. Just for the fun of doing. Haha..the project we came up with totally doesn't make sense but didn't have the time to think and refine it so just submit =P

13/11/2008 - Thursday
After our lecture, we went to Lerk Thai for lunch. Didn't know what to eat there. Andrew suggested we just try some of the food. That's why we all go there. Oh and before we actually step into the car, Andrew accidentally stepped on an ant's nest. Haa..and we were like scratching in the car coz the ants bite us. Luckily there's only a few. Most of it were on his slipper and a few crawl to the rear and got on us. Went to YIH after lunch to meet the photographers and videographers for the Y2J concert.

14/11/2008 - Friday
I've got no lesson today. Cooked lunch and went out to Science to meet my lab partner to give her the lab report. Then went to Engineering to get the VPC room's key from Guoqi and walked to YIH to get the video camera from Phan Shei. Transferred the videos for archiving into the computer. Sometimes I was wondering if being in VPC is really taking up too much of my time. There's a lot of things I need to do for every event - from filing up the coverage request form to assigning photographers to liaising with the organisers to collection of equipments to returning equipments to archiving to completing of coverage request form to submission of photos/videos to organiser. That's really time consuming. I don't really mind doing it but when there's a few coverage request coming together and near to exam it can be quite hectic. Anyway, I'm glad to have completed the last coverage before the exam and what's left are just archiving which I'll only do after the exam. Went to Holland Village and tried the Xiao Long Pau. It's very small compared to what I thought it is going to be. Haha..just maybe slightly bigger than wanton. But it taste better than wanton. Had friend rice too. Super filing. Very very full. Thanks for the dinner. Really nice.

I went to YIH at about 11am. Thought I was late. Luckily the bus came soon and manage to reach YIH by 11.20am. I tried to check my e-mail this morning if anyone signed up to do today's coverage. But no one did. So I went to school preparing to do the coverage on my own. I can't really remember the people that I'm suppose to meet at BTC so I was a bit worried hoping someone would go with me. Moreover, I have not been to BTC before! I don't want to get lost there. Haa..so when I reached the VPC room, Guo Qi was already there doing his project. He told me that he'll accompany me there today! Yippee! So happy, don't need to go alone. Kim Hung was abled to join us too.

He told me that we'll take the 12.06pm bus to BTC and reach there about 12.30pm. Meanwhile we tried to convert the videos for Bizcom Halloween. Totally forgotten to check the time then when it was 12.04pm, we ran out of the room hoping to catch the bus. Manage to reach the bus stop in time but the bus is no where to be seen. After waiting for awhile, a bus came and we thought maybe there's delay. It came about 12.15pm. But the bus actually made one turn and head back to Kent Vale! Arr..so in the end we only manage to catch the 12.36pm bus and reach BTC at 1pm. Wow..BTC is really nice. Looks more like a university than Kent Ridge Campus.

Tried to contact Foo Kin but he was still in a meeting so we just walk around taking photographs. Oh and I realise BTC and Botanic Gardens is very close. Haa..so cool. Next time can take the bus and walk there.Started to take photos for the NUSSU Council at 1.30pm. And I recognise a few of them from the NUSSU Dinner the other time. So it wasn't that bad after all. Finish at about 2.40pm. Packed up and realise that there's no more shuttle bus. Walked out to take 151 instead. Reached NUS about 3+pm. Super tired and hungry. Ate lunch and came back to PGP.

Just came back from another day out. Woke up quite late this morning because I've got no lessons. Cynthia messaged me if I want to join her for lunch at BIZ then study together at the library. I realise there's a lot for us to study for Marketing. All those in the textbook will be tested although it's not covered in the lecture. Haih..must start studying already if not I won't be able to finish.

Went out of my room at about 12pm. Return the VPC room's key at NUSSU Secretariat then made my way to business canteen. Cynthia was already there and I think her class ended 1 hour ago. Haa..felt so bad making her wait so long. Wei Tong joined us later at 1+pm..haha..and we already finish eating lor..she's having lab at 2pm. Oh we saw a few people in formal wear so we guess they must be doing the marketing presentation especially one of them wearing cheong sam (the Shanghai Tang group).

After lunch, we went to Hon Sui Sen Memorial Library as planned. Manage to read the chapter on promotions. Haa..finish one chapter and I'm already sleepy. Cynthia had to go for lesson at 4pm so we left the library at about 3.45pm. I went back to PGP to sleep..hehe..super tired maybe due to the whole night archiving.

There's going to be coverage tomorrow and I have no idea who to send down. I don't mind going down on my own but I don't have any experience in taking wide angle shots besides in TPJC. So we were trying to contact some of the more experience photographers if they can make it. Unfortunately, most of them can't make it at that timing and those can make it during that time can't travel to BTC. Haa..super troublesome. Guo Qi is helping me with that. I hope he'll come up with a solution for tomorrow's problem. He said he'll message me regarding the decisions. We are trying to ask NUSSU if they can postpone the photo shoot.

Woke up at about 5.45pm then went to eat at Engineering Canteen with Alex. Was suppose to meet him at 6pm but I was late because I overslept. I really set my alarm to wake up at 5.30pm but I don't know why somehow I off it or it didn't ring. Haha..too sleepy already.

Went to West Coast Park after dinner. This time is much nicer there. Got nice sea breeze. Sat near the shore for a while after walking around the playground.

Okie i got nothing much to blog about these few days..feel very lazy to do so..Haha..
Today's lesson are like usual where we just did mass tutorial and for marketing Prof Ang gave us some mock questions to try. Then went to VPC room to do archiving. Haa..have to export the same video like 4-5 times because the programme was faulty. Everytime after exporting I realise either the video cannot be played or there's the logo of the software appearing in the middle of my video. And each time the exporting is about 45 mins - 1hour. Can imagine how long I took to do that Kent Ridge Ministerial Forum archive. Still got ISN and Halloween. So in the end have to do until about 9.30pm and Christopher the NUSSU Logistic Head even went home. Haha..so I have to go look for him tomorrow to return the keys to him:S

A lot of things are not within my control..i just have to stop complaining. in life, we have to give and take. So accept whatever that come by and make the best out of it.
I'm sorry if I had been complaining a lot recently. Thanks for listening. Really appreciate it.

Today's the last lesson for my tuition. Amos will be having his 'A' Levels tomorrow. All the best to him.

Hmm..today's quite an unlucky day for me. Went out of my room at 8.50am. Reach PGP bus stop at 9am and the shuttle bus just left. So I have to wait for another bus. Manage to get onto A2 at about 9.15am. Stop at Central Library and I thought I was very lucky as bus 96 was just behind. I know that my Ezlink card ran out of value so I prepared coins. Took the bus. I'm not sure if it's me who is rushing but I really feel that the uncle drove quite slow. I was hoping to reach Clementi MRT before 9.35am so that I won't be late for my tuition. In the end I reach Clementi at 9.50am. Waa take almost an hour to go Clementi from NUS. So long. Should have just taken 143 or 183 from PGP.

When I was about to top up my Ezlink I realise it's missing. It's not in my wallet neither was it in my bag. I tried to search for it for awhile then I decided maybe I left it in my room. So when I was about to buy the standard ticket, I was so unlucky again!! I don't have small change. I only have $50 with me as I already used all my coins for the bus. I queued up to exchange for smaller change and the uncle told me he don't have enough change for me, he said he only have enough for $20. He suggested I buy an Ezlink card. I didn't want to and I don't think there's a need for it. I went to withdraw $20 from the ATM, queued up again to change for money and he gave me $10 in coins!! He had enough $2 notes but he refuse to give me. So I had no choice but to take the $1 coins. FInally bought my ticket and took MRT to Pasir Ris. Super sleepy and fell asleep on the train.

Reached Pasir Ris at about 10.45am. I was already 15mins late for tuition. Luckily I told Amos that we'll start at 10.45am so I'm not exactly late but imagine if he wanted the lesson to be at 10.30am. I'm already late. Anyway, it's the last lesson and no more next time. Haha..lesson ended at 12.45pm.

Went to Jurong East to have lunch. Had mixed rice (fish, egg and vegetables), quite nice. Made my way to Jurong East library with Mr Tan. The library is really big. Got lots of books and comics. Haha..I went there to read comics. Was planning to do my marketing project but it's halfway done and my laptop ran out of battery. So can't do anything and since I'm there already I shall just explore a bit.

Left the library at around 5.40pm. Went to walk around the area and there's actually 4 coffee shops around. Had dinner at Astons. Then took a bus back to PGP. Took bus 183 and I have no idea what's the route the bus will take so was trying to pay full attention while talking on the phone. Decided that I cannot multitask and hang up the call. When the bus reach Clementi, I was a bit more relax. And I met Michelle on the bus so I guess I'm not that unlucky after all. At least now there's someone to walk back with me.

Michelle shared with me half of her papaya too. So I had desserts today. Haha..nice nice. I guess I was just a bit unlucky in the morning. I'm still lucky so have lots of great friends who will always stand by me.

I'm so happy..Hai Bee came over and visit me today. We had a nice chat together till about 3am. Although I feel very sleepy now (only 4hrs of sleep) but I think it's all worth it. Didn't catch up with her for so long. Maybe since uni started. We are in the same faculty but didn't even meet for once and she's busy with hall activities. So it's so nice that she visit me.

I also had a nice long chat with Evelyn, my dear friend. Haha..in case you are thinking who am I referring to on my msn message, it's her!! She's really my best buddy in school and I don't think anyone can replace her.Although I have close friends in JC, it was nothing compare to the time we had in secondary school. We do almost everything and anything together. Go to school together. Hang out together. Go for lessons together. Eat together. Walk home together. Study together. Play together. I really miss those days. I miss hanging out at your house. I miss talking to you about anything and everything that I feel like talking to and thank you for always being there for me. I know at times you are busy but you never failed to cheer me up when I'm sad, guide me when I'm lost. I think we were even closer than my sister and I. Love ya lots. Hope everything is fine for you there and I do look forward in meeting you end of the year.

Alright, back to what I was doing the night before. Went to central library to try to study. Haha..did a bit of marketing and then a bit of chemistry and a bit of biochem. I realise there's not much food in school on weekends. Reminder to self: Shuttle bus B terminates it's service at 7pm and weekend. Don't waste time waiting. Yea, we were waiting for the shuttle bus for like 15mins and it never come. Suddenly realise that maybe the service ended for the day. And true enough there's no more bus B. So had dinner at MacDonalds instead.

Thank you my dear friends for always there to support me, accompanying me when I'm sad, encouraging me when I'm down, taking care of me and listening when I need someone to talk to. Take care. See you.