Think before you ACT

So many things had happened recently to the extent that I'm not sure whether what I'm going through is worth it. I could have just gone home during this holidays, not doing my internship, not becoming a resident assistant and not having to help some people to be their messenger.

I don't really mind helping people as long as it is within my means but can't they be more polite when asking for help. It's you that want my help yet you are asking me as though I'm the one that wants your help. I don't like being 'shouted' (I can't think of a suitable word, maybe it's just the tone that you are using) at especially you are asking for help. I have no obligation to do what you asked me to. It's not even my job to do it.

Someone came back to bug me again asking for some ridiculous 'help', but he will never be able to do that again. Thank you for helping me to get rid of him. I'm guilty for not telling when it first occurred. I was thinking that it would not have such a great impact. But now I realise how serious the problem can be after putting some thought into it. I'm really really sorry about it. I might need some time to get over with it.

I'm also missing home. I haven't gone back for more than half a year, the last time being Chinese New Year which I was back for just 2-3 days and about 2 weeks in December. And I foresee myself not being able to go back for holidays so soon. Being a resident assistant means that we are required to be in campus on certain days and remain contactable and we are only entitled to 10 days of leave per semester. I will need to use about 7 days for my camp in December and will that mean that I will only have 3 days left to go home??? Mummy said it's okay since she can come and visit me whenever she thinks it's convenient. But I think the feeling will not quite be the same? Dunno :S Maybe I will feel much better when the term starts. I'm just too free these few days.

I'm also starting to get bored with my work. It's been less than 3 months and I'm already bored of it. I wonder how am I going to survive in the future. I guess what my friend said is true. Why do we need to work so hard when at the end of the day, we will not have anything? What's the purpose of life then? I have yet to find out :S I'm looking forward to some 'real' holiday. I'm tired of having to wake up so early in the morning, going to the lab and not having anything to do. If this is really what a researcher does, I really have to reconsider.

And I totally forgotten about our welcome fest event yesterday. Really sorry to the committee. I will do better next time. As for the meeting, I really didn't mean to forget about it. It totally slipped my mind.

I know in the past few weeks I've hurt someone really badly and not knowing how to make up for it. Even need the person to tell me what to do. Really disappointed in myself.